Monday, 16 November 2009

when does it all get better

ive been through it before it gets bad, then worse, then all better again & carries on usually at 'My time of the Month' its at its best, but not now, i am at a new low, usually i have a special friend to help me through but not right now, i have friends but no-one really i can cry down the phone to, not any more.

dad: can't help anymore can't even help himself.

max: doesn't understand that now i have to spend all my time revising usually on the computer that when i need to use it (or half way through using it) i will need to get back on it as soon as i can, "oh yeah just a minute" i get every day whilst he lounges with his feet up playing Stupid un-important games that slow the computer down completely especially when the computer is already Fucked! and we can't get a new one until max pays back the £400 he owes dad but still he decides to either go out most nights or just spend all his money on beers and sits in his room with his friends playing football on the Xbox (what an exiting life you lead)

Mum: wow shes worse not just worse than max but worse than she has previously been she sits in her bed all day watching day time T.V drinking at-least 2 bottles of wine, smoking 40 cigarettes a day and generally wasting life, then i get home an opportunity to shout at me for doing nothing (hypocrite) and even though max has been home all day she doesn't shout at him cause she can't be bothered to leave her room and he just sits in his room playing Xbox so they don't cross paths THEN dad gets home and she complains to him about how i haven't done any work just because i responded to mum saying SHE hasn't done any, dad is too tired from spending all day working to argue so he just tells me to make an effort and then mum has a go at him for not shouting at me.

okay i don't want to say much more sorry i ranted on. i just had a crappy day. and a crappy week, and i feel there is no-one looking after me,
i guess i shouldn't rely on others
or i'm just being selfish.