Sunday, 22 August 2010
Friday, 20 August 2010
i have over invited to my party,
and we probably can't even use the garden cause its september and it rains,
mums loving using this against me :/
why can't i say no?
and i don't even want to think about this until after shambala
cause i'm not ready yet!
i haven't got any money for food!
i haven't got any money to take,
i don't know how i'm getting there!
and i haven't got much to wear,
i have decided that i'm only taking dressup clothes
now i will make a list
of 8p noodles
and cheap wet wipes!
Posted by ChazzNoir at 12:34
Monday, 16 August 2010
Posted by ChazzNoir at 08:16
Friday, 13 August 2010
at work with dad-
woke up at some un-natural time,
but the morning felt so nice, :]
i had been morning sleeping for too long
i woke up every day at 1 at the earliest!
one of my favorite times was when i woke about about 6 from toms
and everyone was asleep
i felt funny
so i just walked out of toms
with no shoes
and walked up to the farm,
but it was shut
so i went to st andrews park
it was lush peaceful
there were small groups of people
who either hadn't slept or were sleeping just on the grass
i sat in the sand pit with bare feet,
and just thought for a while.
Posted by ChazzNoir at 02:37
Wednesday, 11 August 2010
(keeps having kissing dreams)
today i have felt really crap
haven't felt this bad in a while.
i haven't left the house
hardly left my room
i just sat on my own and had little crying sessions.
listening to mum talking to herself between tracks of loud music
and just felt like i'm turning into her,
sat on my own most days,
thinking: were are my friends?
[[wrong computer picture later]]
Posted by ChazzNoir at 14:16
Tuesday, 10 August 2010
i want to do something with myself!!!
i want someone to do something to me.
i can't decide for myself
can't someone use me?
experiment on me
try out your ideas on me.
cut me up,
dress me down
Posted by ChazzNoir at 16:14
Sunday, 8 August 2010
my dreams are getting worse..
i went out and bought a book about dreams and how to control them
but i only ever read it before bed and i'm usually too tired to concentrate
i woke up crying this morning
my pillow was damp
i had so many dreams,
one about a family party and max got everything he wanted and i got told of for anything
dream about jesse and david bullying me and laughing at me
i think thats the one that made me cry
it was weird it was only little tears
but i couldn't stop for a while
there was more,
but all these mornings i have bee 'lying in'
and its just my light sleeps when i have the weirdest dreams
the jesse one made me get up i didn't want any more
Posted by ChazzNoir at 17:43
Friday, 6 August 2010
Wednesday, 4 August 2010
Posted by ChazzNoir at 15:58
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
i feel a hair change coming on...
i think i want a big change for starting college
i want to shave a strip in my hair...
and i'm fucking miffed with my fringe JUST GERR'OUT!
and i think for shambles i might go too over the top with colours
then come college
i might go orange
but like BRIGHT orange
if i shave it
how long would it take to grow back
would i look stupid as it grows back :S
OH WELL i'm bored of this norrmalness
Posted by ChazzNoir at 10:27