Sunday, 31 January 2010
Saturday, 30 January 2010
for some reason girly night turned into going to josiah's shed?!!
then olivia and emily got WASTED
practically had to carry them home :)
at the time we were like oh this is turned to shit
but really it was quite fun
and in the morning it left us with Wonders of laughs:
olivia falling over every 4 steps
and pulling down whoevers holding her up
me and mala trying to walk across grass in heels
we just wanted a wee
trying to put olivia to bed
then leaving to make toast
"I WANT SOME TOAST" (Olivia chasing after us)
yeahh lots more
it's just not as funny unless you were there,
Posted by ChazzNoir at 10:39
Friday, 29 January 2010
tonight Tonight TONIGHT :D
Our girly sleepover.
Posted by ChazzNoir at 09:40
Thursday, 28 January 2010
Posted by ChazzNoir at 13:29
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
mmm smelly bag
ouh shit were is my nose stud?
D: D: D:
*Tries to look in the dark*
oh fudge, curry getting cold
quick put an ear stud in there
oh looks stoopid,
has another look for stud
MASSIVE SPOT LIGHT!
put MASSIVE ring in my nose
tess calls it my
MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW
Posted by ChazzNoir at 14:21
So i will live on coco-pops and 17p lasagna*
even though it makes me feel ill,
and i will not retaliate or fight back**
even when i have a valid point to put across
and i will listen***
even when i know what's being said is hurting me
*because we haven't much money
**because fighting back doesn't help
***because i know my friends need me. :/
Posted by ChazzNoir at 10:30
Monday, 25 January 2010
Posted by ChazzNoir at 11:42
Sunday, 24 January 2010
the same convosation
with my dad,
about my mum,
What shall we do?
how can we stop this
and then in the morning
mums fine and lovely again
and the convosation may as well of never been had
then that evening...
again and again.
Posted by ChazzNoir at 12:51
Saturday, 23 January 2010
i got a call from an 'anonymous caller' today.
just some kids messing about,
shouting rubbish at me:
"YOUR MUMS AN ALCOHOLIC"
gee thanks for pointing out the obvious.
still have that after 'a night' feeling.
cleaning cleaning i will make my room tidy
..did some more drawrings, i'll show you one day.
Posted by ChazzNoir at 10:00
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
Posted by ChazzNoir at 10:03
Tuesday, 19 January 2010
LETS GET ORGINIZED! :D
*Get a note pad, for sketches :)
*start on this 'Portfolio'
*get camera out more..(And not as many pictures of just me and my friends!)
*more editing :)
*Finish re-designing my clothes
*don't just do what your told DO MORE to achieve
*ask for help (doesn't mean your stupid)
*Lovely Little Sleepovers
*Go out with tish!
*Regular Cafe delight (Without spending too much money)
*Get a job PLEAAASE!
*Sell EVerything! haha (who needs material objects)
*anyone need a baby sitter PLEASE :)
*save save save it all up :)
*don't buy any more presents (make them)
i might update but if i give it to you in bite size peices you might (hopefully) not get bored .:)
and i love you okay.. :)
Posted by ChazzNoir at 12:12
Sunday, 17 January 2010
if you don't know,
i feel sorry for banana's
:) well thats what started it,
i have an odd habit i share with my dad,
about we pity inanimate objects
there are two bananas in the fruit basket,
i can't eat one,
the other one will get lonely,
so i either have to eat two or none,
if there is a nice bunch of yellow ripe bananas
and then a sad looking old black blotchy one,
i will have to eat the old one
because he is dying ):
i know you think i'm weird.
but Shut up.
Posted by ChazzNoir at 14:43
Saturday, 16 January 2010
my brothers sat behind me, with his horrid naked feet in-front of me, eww,
i decided to put some stationary in-between his toes
-like a desk tidy.
tess and jess have gone
they stayed over it
we watched trash
we ate trash
and we slept.
now they've gone to town
i want to go to town later
i might go with dad
it makes me feel cool.
and i have money to spend.
Posted by ChazzNoir at 05:31
Thursday, 14 January 2010
so either i didn't read it carefully enough
or it was easy,
Cervical Cancer Jab:
only a little bit painful
almost fainted going in shacking
they had to get a special nurse to come and hold my hand
WOW what a wuss :)
stupid fear of needles
i will never be a heroine addict!
and yeah half way through my exam i came on!!
eww, i could feel it luckily no leakage
enough time for me to run to reception
but at the end of the day i'd rather do lots of things with only a phew bad things than nothing at all.
my arm still does hurt a little though ):
Posted by ChazzNoir at 09:29
Tuesday, 12 January 2010
it didn't last long,
mum soon as made sure of that.
today in school no-one was really there.
tess and olivia went to some rehearsals or something
jesse was with david,
i tried to stand with them but david kept sort-of cradling jess like he was saying MINE
and almost ward me off with his eyes
and jesse didn't seem to interested in me
so i went to see if anyone was in the Cafeteria
i found mala
she was on her own too
so we were lucky to find each other
i was quiet,
which means i'm thinking,
which for me normally isn't good,
i tend to over-think things.
then ruin them,
sorry i am so silly.
Posted by ChazzNoir at 09:12
Monday, 11 January 2010
tess and me went to YellowCafe(cafe delight) again today
there was almost no-one in there
everything was lovely and chilled
tess slipped over many times on the way :D
we orderd our usual 2 Double chocolate milkshakes and curly fries (Y)
and because there was no-one in there,
they had more time to spend making our food,
the milkshake was thick and super chocolateeeey :P
the fries were crisp and full of flavor,
it was the best ide had
and it's put me in the best of moods and made me realize
snowball fights at school
mum cooking (with wine) but lets hope most of that is going in the stu
i feel like someone of an advert getting in from the cold and making myself a lovely herbal tea
i can smell it now sitting next to me,
still too hot to drink
i don't have a boyfriend
but atleast i have good friends
when i'm used to having neither
and i always have someone for a cuddle ;)
and i think i look okay,
still a bit thin
but that can't be helped
but i do want to make sure you know
I AM VERY VERY GRATEFUL :)
for all the lovelyness
and even if this happy faze doesn't last long atleast i've had one now,
and it just puts a nice little break in thingss :)
anyone feeling down..?
let me help perk you up xx
Posted by ChazzNoir at 09:19
Sunday, 10 January 2010
Posted by ChazzNoir at 12:27
reading jaspers blog, made me think.
mostly cause it told me too,
but now i think i don't want to think,
there are so many endings to one story,
i could act kind to someone
and they could think of it as a act of selfishness,
anyway i'd rather not think
i don't mean this in a rude way of-course i will try not to offend or hurt anyone
but i don't see the point of having one path like say yes to everything to open more opportunity's
or don't take drugs cause you will get addicted and die.
i think do what you like, or don't, up to you
don't let anyone tell you what to do, or do, :)
It's entirely up to you :)
but lets have fun shan't we..?
Posted by ChazzNoir at 12:18
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
i had ideas of big things to write,
but now i just feel like you've heard it all before,
i just want to say,
mum is at the worst ever
not much wine and no drugs
but she has lost it,
not in a joke way
she isn't making sense
she's hobbling around crying/shouting at nothing
she isn't acknowledging anyone else
like if someone says something she wont even realize,
i don't know it's hard to explain
and i wouldn't want you to have to witness it
i'm sorry tess had to
but luckily that wasn't the worst part
the worst part was after she left ):
but me and dad spoke, we thought about what we could do
we have done this before and nothings changed but this time i'm not letting that happen
we are going to have to get a doctor or psychiatrist to come HERE to look at mum
we asked mum if she wanted to go to see someone and she is completely oblivious to the fact anything is wrong with her,
so we have to(without telling her) get someone to come here
so she has no choice,
we should probably have to move, :/
although this house is amazing and we have made it lovely
it's not helping with anything,
it's big which makes everyone a little anti social
i think dad's planning on having a separate house to mum,
he loves her but she's causing to much pain and conflict in this house
we don't know what mum will do
she would get half the money from this house,
that would pay for a descent small house
but she would have to get a job to carry on,
maybe thats a good thing to force her,
she hasn't many friends
so she has no support
sorry i don't think i'm allowed to be telling you this... D:
Monday, 4 January 2010
Posted by ChazzNoir at 12:04
Sunday, 3 January 2010
i'm hoping it's normal to cough up green stuff?
i could sit and watch it for hours
it made me think about when i move in to a tiny student flat andhave to do all my washing and cleaning and cooking(except takeaway's) and paying bills and saving money and living with a friend, and waking up knowing there in the room next to me, it's like a big fantastic grown-up sleepover, :D
i think in order to complete this fantasy of mine my new years resolution will be to:
Get a Job before I'm 17
that way whatever money i don't spend can go towards a lovely shared flat with a lovely friend
then LOTS OF HOUSE PARTIES :D
and cleaning, washing, cooking & BEING BIG AND RESPONSIBLE :D
I CAN'T WAIT
^^ o and this is me 2 years ago in a giant bag :) enjoy
Posted by ChazzNoir at 09:25
Saturday, 2 January 2010
happy birthday max.
mum and max have gone down the pub, dad was invited but he's ill
"Charly your too young they wont let you in."
i fucking hate it now.
for the past 2 years now they all go down the pub all the time and mum comes back off her face, dad gets so stressed trying to look after her max go's out for the night and
i'm too young.
sometimes i feel like i'm not part of this family,
like when they exclude me
forget to feed me
hate my music
hate my clothes
shout at me for things that have not to do with me
it's like there just saying: why are you even here?
i wish i wasn't.
Posted by ChazzNoir at 13:18
Friday, 1 January 2010
had a very hard choice of either going to my uncles or going out with mates,
i choose to go to my uncle's.
but it is his birthday
free drink all night,
safe with my dad
it's lovely to see all my family up there :)
plus my friends didn't even go out anyway
^^the lovely big table of drinks we were happy to consume :D
^^me and dad :D
^^my costume :D Baron Samedi from james bond
Posted by ChazzNoir at 12:54