weak..

last night just seemed so perfect,
something felt new and all mine,
maybe because me and paddy haven't had much time alone recently
but through all the shit i have been feeling
and thanks ngaio came round and cheered me up
and paddy and his friend callum
i thought i had got better,
felt lovely
but first mention of "now we need to sort out this college stuff"
and i'm in tears again.
it's my fault
i'm not strong.