Stupid bitch!

Gawd i'm getting out of here!!!

Eeeeeey.

that was fucking amazing!
and i regret nothing.

i have what i want!!

i feel like i have someone who cares..
somewhere to run,
and something to cuddle,

but also i have a cough which sucks cause i really want to stay round his ALL the time but i have just been up all night these past couple of day, in fits of coughing. D:

and i have been seeing my girleys
not enough though
MORE i say.
:)
x

:/

my dad might be going to america...
for like half a year.
gulp.

Lucky

i get to go to the cinema tomorrow with paddy :)
and he's buying milkshakes,
and then i get to see him do his fire circus stuff :)
I'ma lucky girl

i went to buy some trousers...
and got a hood instead :)

:)

(L)

so overwhelmed with loveliness,
have to keep my cool
i just want to pounce,
i'm finally getting something back from the world
xx

Pika.

thankyou for my birthday party
thankyou for my presents
for my cake
my cards
my dancing
and my little kiss at the end of the night.

:)
and i haven't stopped smiling yet.
xx

were not family any more.

and i'm tired

i have friends again,
thank god for holiday ends!
and now i am very sociable
and i went hiking?
long.
and tomorrow i get to make shambles costumes :)
xxx


See if you recognise my retardness

phooey

crap,
i have over invited to my party,
and we probably can't even use the garden cause its september and it rains,
:/
mums loving using this against me :/
why can't i say no?
and i don't even want to think about this until after shambala
cause i'm not ready yet!
i haven't got any money for food!
i haven't got any money to take,
i don't know how i'm getting there!
and i haven't got much to wear,
i have decided that i'm only taking dressup clothes
and pyjamas
ofc.
now i will make a list
of 8p noodles
and cheap wet wipes!
etc.

so super.

Am Bringing On The Extra Crazy Today!






&This was yesterday:


i love my new ears :D
i took some photos with my new camera but can't be bothered to upload them so check out my facebook

deep right?

at work with dad-

woke up at some un-natural time,
but the morning felt so nice, :]
i had been morning sleeping for too long
i woke up every day at 1 at the earliest!
rubbish
one of my favorite times was when i woke about about 6 from toms
and everyone was asleep
i felt funny
so i just walked out of toms
with no shoes
and walked up to the farm,
but it was shut
so i went to st andrews park
it was lush peaceful
there were small groups of people
who either hadn't slept or were sleeping just on the grass
i sat in the sand pit with bare feet,
and just thought for a while.

most pooey

(keeps having kissing dreams)


poo

today i have felt really crap
haven't felt this bad in a while.
i haven't left the house
hardly left my room
i just sat on my own and had little crying sessions.
listening to mum talking to herself between tracks of loud music
and just felt like i'm turning into her,
sat on my own most days,
thinking: were are my friends?
most pooey.

[[wrong computer picture later]]

USE ME

i want to do something with myself!!!
i want someone to do something to me.
i can't decide for myself
can't someone use me?
experiment on me
try out your ideas on me.
cut me up,
dress me down
change me
edit me
cover me
color me
fatten me
thin me
use me
i'm yours!

damp pillows

my dreams are getting worse..
i went out and bought a book about dreams and how to control them
but i only ever read it before bed and i'm usually too tired to concentrate

i woke up crying this morning
my pillow was damp
i had so many dreams,
one about a family party and max got everything he wanted and i got told of for anything
dream about jesse and david bullying me and laughing at me
i think thats the one that made me cry
it was weird it was only little tears
but i couldn't stop for a while
there was more,
but all these mornings i have bee 'lying in'
and its just my light sleeps when i have the weirdest dreams
the jesse one made me get up i didn't want any more

.

-this is my top i like it shut up :)

NURSE

i shouldn't right blogs when i'm angry
but i am
and i'm fucked off at the world!!!!
my house is like a depression ward
and no-one seems to want to look after me!

WERE ARE THE FUCKING NURSES!

hardcore.

i feel a hair change coming on...
i think i want a big change for starting college
i want to shave a strip in my hair...
hardcore.
and i'm fucking miffed with my fringe JUST GERR'OUT!
geesh
and i think for shambles i might go too over the top with colours
then come college
i might go orange
but like BRIGHT orange
not natural

if i shave it
how long would it take to grow back
would i look stupid as it grows back :S
OH WELL i'm bored of this norrmalness