its been a while...
i have been busy...
i have so much work to do,
and i'm supposed to be in college now,
but someone took my electric bike off charge,
and that things too heavy to cycle without battery
i only have a two hour day today
9-11
but i normally stay till like 5
cause i can't get work done at home,
so i will go in at like 10.30 or 11 and stay all day,
put my bike on charge for a while,
i am getting stressed with work
and i'm worried i might start taking it out on people at home,
like yesterday,..
after college i went to pick up paddy from his college on my way home
and he had alot of stuff with him
i was on my bike
so he asked if i could carry his bag cause he had a guitar on his back,
so i did,
and he had come to college on my scooter so he had that also
and he needed to take his mini amp home
then half way home he asked if he could take the bike up hill to carry his amp,
so i swapped the scooter for the bike
and i carried the scooter cause it was uphill,
that was okay cause i like to be helpfull,
so i carried his bag and scooter and let him take the bike to get up the hill,
then on the last bit of hill up to my house he got me to carry the amp aswell!!!
i looked at him like hes got to be joking!!
he wasn't.
so i carried his amp, his scoooter, his back pack,
and let him electrically ride up the hill...
yes it was only the little last bit of hill
and he did come back a couple of steps after dropping the bike in to take the amp of me
but it just annoyed me a bit,
and i wouldn't of minded cause i thought he would of realised he made me carry all his stuff up the hill
and been like oh thankyou charly
cup of tea?
hug..?
he's normally good like that,
but then i realised i think i was just having a bad day,
cause normally i would do all that and not even complain...
it was me that was in a bad mood.
so i just went downstairs to cool down and have a glass of water
thinking he would follow.
but he just got his laptop out i the living room and went on facebook...
i'm sorry this annoyed me so much.

plz can still be princezz?

Mental

i'm modeling for my neighbour today :)
were going to un old abandoned mental hospital
creepy

fucking hell yesterday...
okay rant time.
firstly...
me, ngaio, bessie, gemma and dan were at paddy's(with paddy)
we had all stayed at mine the night before and came to paddy's for some food and stuff.
josh had asked to borrow my hair braider so i was waiting for someone to walk back to mine with me but generally i was being lazy.
anyway evening came and my mum rang and said she was getting takeaway if i wanted in
and i had been invited to go for films at ngaio's
when ngaio heard my mum was offering to pay for curry she jumped up and started "okay charly c'mon lets get to yours quick i want curry" she had to be back home at 7.30 and it was now like quarter to 7
i servearly hate being hurried.
i swear i actually have some phobia of it.
so when she was trying to make me hurry up phone this get this hurry up hurry up
i just start to panic and have to stop to breath.
then at that point gemma came up saying "oh the toilets blocked i didn't do it"
so i had to tell paddy, and gemma was there
(gemma isn't the most loved and has been known in the past to cause mischeif like ealier whilst paddy was making breakfast for us all he made himslef a sandwhich to eat whilst food was cooking and without asking she kept taking bites out of it. then when he made me some fried bread cause he knows it's my fave he out it on a plate ready to serve up and she ate that..)
he automaticly thought it was gemma,
and got pissed off
becuase he wasn't actually supposed to have many people round
and he didn't plan too just all happened at once.
so paddys pissed off
ngaios hurrying me to leave so she can get a curry
gemmas being hated on,
josh is wandering when i'm going to do his hair
i felt like hitting someone
ngaio trying to make me leave so i went to say goodbye to paddy and he just told me to get gemma the fuck out his house
so i told them to leave and came back to say bye to paddy
"Bye."(angrily)
ngaio finaly got me out the house
josh was walking back to mine with us so i could give him the braiding machine
and had to keep apoligising that i couldn't do it for him.
and i was fuming from the whole thing
but also ready to cry cause i thought i had pissed paddy off
got home told mum the story and went upstairs to sit on my own with a glass of water
leaving ngaio downstairs
i was a little pissed off at her for making me really rush just so she could get a curry?
she knows i can't handle it
then i hear a knock at the door
and gemma and bessie are there
so mum tells them that i don't want to see them ever again and there not welcome here
thats not the case
i didn't want to see anyone for that moment in time
so i came down to tell mum she has no right to say that and lie.
i let them come up to my room out of mums way
and said why are they here?
they said the got nowhere else to stay
and they were expecting to stay at mine
i didn't say anyone could stay at mine?
and i was supposed to be going to watch films at ngaios
but at this point i didn't want to i just wanted to curl up and die
i left them upsatirs and ngaio came out saying "oh i have to go home now"
the foods not even here yet?
but she left then
so the hurrying was completely pointless and i am going mad..
i went upstairs to call paddy to make sure he was okay and not angry with me,
he apoligised if he sounded angry it was just stressing for him then too
and the door went again i came down and it was my neighbour???
who i'm in a photo shoot for today
she said that mum had arranged to talk about dresses?
i was confused and still super crazy?
so we sat down awkwardly
and mum ran off to get her dresses?
then the curry arrived and it had been pre paid for.
so all i had to do was take it in
but no mum was shouting NO i got a tip for him hold on
running around for like 5 mins
50p
really?
i'm sure that was worth waiting for,
cate(my neighbour) was like is this a bad time i can come back later?
i was speachless at just how this has all gone so badly
mum came down with something completely different from what cate had asked for
and cate said sorry no
so mum ran off to get some even worse fitted things and i had to embarresingly ssay sorry and cate left
at which point i went upstairs to check on bessie and gemma
and bessie looking quite ill said she did something a bit stupid
and she lifetd up a chukn of hair
she had let gemma shave a strip down the side of her head
now even more speachless i just told them they had to leave cause
well i'm deffinalty not staying in this house!!
i still feel bad but i think they had somewere to go
i stole half the curry and ran to paddy's
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

happy 6 month (half year to me and paddy

i took some pictures..

yesterday was sunny and beautiful :)
we sat in the park all morning circus tricks and juggling.
music and stuff..
then i went to trapeze class :D
loved it!!!
and to blue lagoon
all in the pikachu costume :D
ohh yeaaah.
then we had to talk...
i didn't enjoy that.
i hate having to tell bad things.

bite me.

emotions have gone mad.
and i'm waisting my life.
i want to go out.
get a milkshake and a krispy kreme
i want you to send me dirty messages
about how your going to rip me apart tonight.

i want to tell you that thing you know i'm hiding
but my voice doesn't let me

i'm too tired.

HappyBrownieTime

i hope paddy never leaves me...
i don't know how to cook...

i can make hash brownies whilst he plays his game though :)
yumms.
were going to play little big planet and watch first series skins xx

credit

its nice not to have to worry about anything for the next week.
:)
well maybe a bit of catch up work. (quite alot of catch up work)
:/
and a couple of photo shoots
:(
and then i have to right up about all of them...
D:
and print them all off with no moneys
DX
and stuff...
k..
oops.

you make me feel like a princess

you put me first.
make me happy
do anything for me.
i wish everyone who deserves it had someone like you.

my hands are still green

super smiles right.
its ellas birthday night,
and i get to go to the cadbury with 'the gang'
:)
and then out to full moon attic bar,
paddy might be too ill
hopefully not
but if he can't
it will be like my first night out with them without paddy.

my hair looks quite blue on paddy's laptop camera.
and this is paddy's little green tip :)

-and he is in no way my accessory or like a matching handbag.

GreenHair

&yes i did bleach and dye a bit of my eyebrow :)

everybody's getting love today.

it feels like summer today.
:)
i'm dying my hair green.
updated
done.

-tastey meatballs.

Easy Peasy

for some reason some things today have just felt easier...
i woke up.
easy
walked back to mine from paddy's
with still half an hour to spare before i had to set of to college.
so i spent a little extra time on my appearance.
i even had time for breakfast at paddy's.
then cycling was just easy..
and wasn't too cold
just outside college i saw vicky
(a friend from high school)
so i stopped to talk to her,
she had been going to this college as long as i had and i never noticed her...
but were only in on one day together so its not that bad.
then the lift doors open and Jake cale is there!
said our awkward hello's and how are yous
college work doesn't seem so daunting right now
i know i have alot to do
but i feel like i'm organised enough now that it shouldn't be too hard
or take too long when i eventually get round to doing it.
and now i'm clearing my room.
i feel like all white bed sheets.
pure.

Road trip

me and paddy are in Leicester
visiting my nan and a couple of the famalam
so far we have been shopping and bought a fuck of alot of Aldi style junk food...
animal biscuits, monster claws(monster munch), Waffles, aldi cereal,
and our new fave 'Disco Biscuit'
then we had fish n chips at my cousins.
(paddy was forced to watch glee)
now tea and chill.

-We have 'disco biscuits'... be jealous.
(paddy had already eaten his by picture time.)

today feels good

i think i can feel summer coming on..
even though its definite fur coat weather
the sun is still trying,
and thats the best that could be.
early start for me and paddy,
i had dentist and he has to do his room.
but it wasn't that horrible morning feeling,
then i had to go to my old school to pick up my GCSE results and art work,
was hoping to go in and hang out with friends,
then see all my old lovely teachers,
but half of them weren't in or had left for good.
and my art teachers weren't in so i couldn't pick up half my stuff
dad was in a hurry so only briefly got to see my friends.
but i have plans with bessie soon.
maybe we could go to youth club and i can see people properly :)
oh and i bought some pretty underwear :)
its like a french maid style but in bra and pants.
which i would obv. match up with knee high socks, and my hair up
well paddy asked for my hair up ;)
the best thing about it is its SUPER comfy :)
hope you liked it paddy.
x