cornwall

Camping...

4 days of tent living and cheap camping food,

wasn't too bad :)

i had jeannie anyway

+her family

+dog.

+lots o lots o cider :D

19

D:

ill, & insecure.

14

luke,

last night was a little boring yaz got with this guy called luke and then we had to leave as they were about to get close, this morning we went to the cafe had late breakfast and went home 

im supposed to be packing for holiday tomorrow 

11

yammi...

jesse went on holiday yesterday, she went to italy for a week not too long but then just before she's back i'm being whisked off to Dorset so its almost 2 weeks apart, 

i might go to a party tonight but mum wasn't too happy last time when i came back a little trashed, yazmine wants to go with me, i haven't been out with her in a while,

recently shes sort-of  left our group of friends to go with her boyfriends group, then they broke up so shes trying to come back but i don't think she realises our group doesn't really exist anymore we all just fell apart anyway shower then off...

10

Art Btec

my first whole day of school since the lying in bed depression stage,

its Btec day though so that means Art all day its a good chilled lesson we get to listen to music and wander around. The teacher just says if we don't do the work we wont get the grades so..

9

dreadlocks?

wednesday,

went to school it had felt like i haven't been in years, people kept asking were have i been?

bed was my answer i just said i was ill or something no-one needs to know im feeling sad it would just bring them down, i went home after the first 2 lessons i had dentist, then had lunch with my granny.

still wandering about getting dreads i don't know if i have mentioned it before, 

most people say i should... but apparently you can't go swimming and thats no good as much as i rarely go swimming i would still like the option :/ also my drama teacher says it wouldn't be good if i were to be an actress D: and what if i catch headlice D: that would be like EWWWW S:

but i would look cool...

ile ask jesse. 

8

Arrrrgh mutha

woken by dad very innocently whispering "charly... charly are you okay?... (no reply) ile come back in a minute"

another day off school maaan, this isn't good for end of year 10 i need to get over this,

i don't feel like school though.

mostly cleaning and getting shouted at by mum for apparently pretending to be ill, 

according to her i have to have a reason to be sad,

so ile just lay in bed and not come in contact with her

cleaning.. cleaning

jesse came round after school

mum: you can't be ill and have friends round charly, your obviously not ill you should of been at school you stupid child D:

mum wanted girly chats incase i had been dumped or if its my time of the month, the worst one was when she asked wether i was being bullied :S

shes currently shouting at me (which is really helping me feel better D:)

RRRRRGHHH!

at-least dad understands... ile just go talk to him

7

monday D:

okay so today i must of woken up about 1 ish on a school day feeling like the worst ever, after spending the whole weekend w/o eating a meal i occasionally had the odd chocolate bar maybe a bowl of cereal i still feel empty inside, Then i spent  today watching about a whole season of scrubs and in every interval (every 15 minutes) going downstairs to get something to eat

& why is it that if we feel empty inside we feel like food will fill it?

6

Sunday (rainday) there was no sun

stayed in bed all day got up for dinner then back to bed UUUUUURRGHHH

5

Saturday Night bluurgh

saturday was davids (jesse's boyfriend) birthday party he had a BBQ in the park jesse was supposed to see him at 2 but instead we stayed in and dyed our hair to show her anger :) ( i love jesse)

anyway the endless starting and stopping of rain drove us all back to davids BBQ'd there under shelter.

me, jeannie, tom & jesse slept round (Charly's Awesome 4som ((charly sold separately)) (((Ki expansion pack))) ) 

stayed up all night talking about nothing that mattered and felt rather trashy on the sunday morning...

4

Friday night

friday night was insane,

after school jesse came round after being canceled on by her much loved boyfriend,

we went to mine hung out making a memory book of all the A4 sheets of paper the used to be taped to my wall she did very good considering being scared of stickers and tape,

later that night olivia came round and we were all going out to have a trashy night in the park?

i stole my parents cider and was on out way somehow guessing they kept filling my bottle up i got Trashed & woke up with writing all up my back saying '(boys name) was ere ' and pointing at my pants :S i was later confronted that it was actually jesse and olivia |:|  

also day 3

it was me :)

my dad laughed today...

i haven't heard him laugh in a whileXx

i have a little monkey, his name is jim

i put him in the bathtub to see if he could swim

he drank up all the water

& ate up all the soap

& now he's got a problem

Bubbles in his throat.

Who ate all the cheesey biscuits?

okay it was me =]

yumm :P

3

let the rain fall.

(8)let the rain fall..  let it keep on falling(8)

*Sigh*

thats the look going round my house this week

both my parents are depressed... 

im starting to feel it droop in,

is it contagious? 

i suppose no-one could be happy when there surrounded by depression,

but i don't want to be depressed.. 

i want to be happy, its not my choice though, is it..? 

i have nothing to be upset about.. 

except obviously living in the depression house, 

my brothers okay?

but hes never around anymore, 

party's, work, friends.. 

is that what im going to be like 

never able to come home.. 

busy? 

thats just not me.

day2

Aaaargh,

i can't help myself...

i've been reading Her blogs

theres so many

and my heart just brakes

and im full of this feeling 

is it happiness?

Depression?

i don't know

i don't want to know,

i don't think

oooh i feel so spiritual ^^

but shit...

should i cry?

i can't wait to leave school...

this time in one year ile be ready to leave

to ditch my uniform and be the trash that She is...

her life makes out to be so Shit 

but its like The life i want

its odd,

shes not that happy 

and shes so alone,

but shes wonderful 

& i love her...

still day1

My Lovely new blog,

^^^Jesse      &       Me^^^

BlogTime

i have found this little sight from someone i think is amazing,

she is inspiring and me and my friend jesse love her in secret :)

i have a best friend Jesse,

but i suppose names mean nothing, she is pretty and funny and...

there's no point explaining, cause no-one will see her the same way

i've never really had a 'Best Friend' like this before...

i've never really had a 'Best Friend'

i don't know much how it happened,

i suppose it was Them these two amazing best friends about 4 years older than me,

there friends with my brother but not really friends more like school acquaintances

anyway one day me and jesse looked them up on youtube/facebook/myspace and we got to noticing how they do some really cool things and have such a relationship with each other that something just clicked in mine & jesses mind.. 

WOW

and ever since we are Best Friends and we have the whole Idea of the future 

living together, making videos of ourselves together, pictures, habits etc

(all inspired by Them) =D 

i don't think They know exactly what impact they have on the world...

day1